Hey hey,,you you,,


I used to ask myself “why people always asking me why I don’t have boyfriend or why I don’t what to find one or ko tanak ada boyfriend ke or ko memilih sangat kot”. Well, only those who close to me understand my feeling. only they know what happened to me these past few years.i had a boyfriend before.orang akan kata dia hensem.but,bagi aku dia just cute.too cute I guess.and baek.sangat baek.erm…terlalu baek??and susah gak bila terlalu baek and cannot handle certain ‘person’ who alwayz pijak kepala dia.well,as a girlfriend and also a friend with great skill as a counselor (muahaha),I always help him cope with his situation.and till 1 time,when he cant handle it anymore,he asked for us to split.and it went smoothly.no nangis2.and like nothing happened,ktorg still kawan.and close.sampai pernah sehari dia call time aku kat class,crying like a baby.never heard he’s crying like that before.even when I’m his gf.well,it seems im still his good friend and his counselor. now, a year had past,we still contacting each other but not more that before.im busy with my new life and he’s also busy with assignments whatsoever and also his new gf!! Haha.im happy for him.well,done with his story.its not that I don’t like the time im with him,he was someone special in my past.and I will always remember that. but somehow I felt tired when i always need to hear about his stuff, his problems that for me its like …‘how can u call that a prob??’ .i also had many probs but I can managed it myself and never told him bout it.so its like ‘terbalik’.should be he’s the one who need to take care of me not the other way round. and that’s the ‘thing’ I try to find in men. the ‘caring’ part.like dadai said, ‘lelaki melayu x cukup caring’.haha.and her office full with chinese and indians same as mine.its not that aku x suke lelaki melayu.i’d never said that!!! I love someone.dah bertahun ok!! He knew but he never love me back.adekah aku sgt memilih??dia hensem sgt ke?nope,dia x hensem.adekah dia kaya??well,dia x kaya,slalu xde dued and sebnarnya boleh dikategorikan sebagai xde harta.mcm aku gak la..tp sume tu bknnya masalah bg aku.aku just senang dengan dia.penah rasa susah ngan senang sama2.aku rasa cam aku boleh borak sume bende ngan dia. Tp aku rasa dia rasa inferior ngan aku.and dgn sume org. but that’s not the reason why he don’t love me back!! He said he just cant. Well,I just assume its because im not pretty enough and I’m not a good person as he’s always see the bad side in me.so, perlukah aku menunggu sesuatu yg x pasti?well,yang tu aku dah lama dah ada jawapan dia.i will not wait for him.its just that untuk ambik tahu pasal dia tu dah jadi habit aku. I need to depend on time.people change.and I hope I will change too. should I try to find a bf? well,should i? im only 23 this november.its not that I don’t want 1,but do I look so desperate?no im not desperate and im not afraid to fall in love.im living my life quite well.im an independent girl.my high priority is my family.so,just ignore the Qs on top.i want to live my life well until I meet with the right person.cukup la dgn masalah yg ada ni je.no need to add others.like lisa wrote in her blog ‘a girl who knows what she wants is totally sexxyyy!!’ muahaha.is it??

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